If you’ve ever been to Japan, chances are you saw a “konbini,” a Japanese convenience store. Some of them will be recognizable to US residents – 7-11, for example – others, less so. The konbini is a staple of contemporary Japanese life and for good reason – they are waaaay superior to their US counterparts in terms of product selection and quality, and they are freaking EVERYWHERE.* Today, though, I’m going to talk about a different type of konbini, one that occupies a more unpleasant space in my life.

The story opens with a familiar scene: a group of white students hanging out at school, and me, the only nonwhite person there. They’re talking anime and manga because they’re big fans – I stay silent, because I’m not. Later, as I’m leaving, someone, maybe currently a JPN 101 student, or maybe just an ardent anime watcher – enthusiastically trills, “Kawaii!” in praise of whatever character, show, or story currently being discussed. I keep walking, but something bothers me.

After a few more half-heard, half-cut-off conversations, I notice a pattern. These non-Japanese anime and manga fans won’t use Japanese words in front of me. Some of them refer to each other with terms like -senpai, -san, and -chan. I only overhear them in passing because it stops when I join the group. If something “cultural” is being discussed – an outfit, a historical narrative, a belief system – sidelong glances are shot at me and sometimes my opinion is solicited. Often, I am asked about how “authentic” something is. As the only Japanese person present, I become at once The Other and The Authority On All Things Japan. I don’t like being typecast, but I don’t feel up to a round of Racism 101 either, so I just answer what I can.**

The conversation ends and the group breaks up, but I know this will happen again. And here’s where I get annoyed. If a non-Japanese person is arbitrarily flinging Japanese words around because they are oh-so-in-tune with x anime and/or convinced they are “Japanese” in spirit – there’s a word I want to share: weeaboo. Look it up. FYI, it is not a compliment. I could rant about weeaboos at length,*** but in my personal experience, something more hurtful and insidious is at work here: selective “anti-racism.”

Selective “anti-racism” is racism by another name. In my experience, it consists of outsiders tailoring their behavior in the presence of an insider, based on their outsider perceptions of how that insider “should” be treated. Now take the previous sentence and replace “outsider” with “white” and “insider” with “POC.” Ah…

Here is a truth from a nonwhite person: if you are white, do not assume you know how a nonwhite friend/acquaintance/that stranger over there wants to be treated with respect to their culture. Here is another truth from a nonwhite person: I can tell when you are “turning off” your racism on my “behalf.” Here is a third truth from a nonwhite person: you are not being a “better” person or an “ally” if you practice selective anti-racism.****

If I’m being confusing, let me use a non-race example: murder. Say you kill someone in front of someone else. Now say you kill someone not in front of someone else. Is the second murder somehow more “ok” than the first?

Racism is still racism, regardless of whether it happens to someone’s face or behind their back. You don’t get a free pass just because you don’t wear a pointy white hood or because you don’t call me “little Chinese girl” (actually happened to me). If you find yourself consciously adjusting your speech and behavior with regard to race when you are around me, newsflash: you are racist. You should ALWAYS be conscious of how you speak and act about race, around EVERY person. To quote Mad-Eye Moody, “constant vigilance!”*****

Anti-racism is not like your favorite snack from the konbini. It is not something you acquire when you feel like it and discard when you don’t. It is not something you whip out to ingratiate yourself with nonwhite folks. It is not something you exploit to feel better about yourself, or to further the bullshit statement, “but not ALL white people – !”

I am tired of the konbini approach to anti-racism that I see among so many of the white folks I know. Stop insulting my intelligence. Stop being a hypocrite. Stop thinking you’re in the clear just because I haven’t confronted you (yet).

If you read this far and plan to disregard everything I said, let me leave you with a final point: your choice to disregard what I said is an exercise of your (white) privilege. So, congratulations, you’re still a racist after all.

Thanks for reading! As always, check out the Resources page for similar opinions, different opinions, and unrelated but totally awesome stuff.

*Visit a konbini if you’re in Japan! They are seriously awesome.

**Future post on racism, school, and friendships in retrospect.

***I don’t currently have a post planned about weeaboos, but check out ThisIsNotJapan for a zero-fucks-given breakdown of a Japanese perspective on weeaboo culture.

****This is not to say nonwhite people are never racist – we are. But the lion’s share of racism I have personally encountered comes from white people.

*****Don’t get me started on JKR’s new wizarding schools.