Let’s just get this out of the way.

Q: Where are you from? Where are your parents from?

A: I was born and raised in California. So was my dad. My mom is from Japan.

Q: What generation are you?

A: See above for mom’s side. Dad’s side is more complicated. My paternal grandfather was from Japan. My paternal grandmother was born in the US, but her parents were born in Japan.

Q: How do you pronounce Nogi?

A: The Japanese way. Heh heh.

Q: What’s your Japanese name? (Also has been asked as: Do you have a Japanese name?)

A: I don’t think you understand how Japanese works.

Q: You don’t look Japanese.

A: You don’t look like an asshole. Looks can be deceiving.

Q: You don’t seem very Japanese.

A: You didn’t seeeeeem like an asshole…

Q: You must feel tall when you go to Japan!

A: You must feel silly if you talk to all Asian people like that!

Q: Your [insert trait] is so Japanese. (Also has been said as: [Insert trait or action] is so Japanese of you)

A: Your [insert trait] is so [insert expletive].

Q: Do you speak, read, and/or write Japanese?

A: Yes.

Q: Will you teach me Japanese?

A: No. And if this answer bothers you, think about why.

Q: Your English is really good!

A: Your racism is poorly executed!

Q: What are you? (Also has been asked as: What kind of Asian are you?)

A: What are YOU?

Q: Have you been to Japan?

A: Yes.

Q: I’ve been to Japan!

A: I didn’t ask.

Q: Do you have any family in Japan?

A: Yes.

Q: You know karate, right? (Also has been asked with things like taekwondo and kung fu in place of “karate”…because ignorance)

A: Wrong.

Q: But you’re Asian! You should be good at math!

A: But you’re human! You shouldn’t be racist!

Q: Are you familiar with [insert manga/anime/Japanese-author-translated-into-English here]?

A: Are YOU familiar with everything ever created by the group of people you’re descended from? Do you realize how ridiculous you sound now?

Q: I studied Japanese [insert number of years, location of school, etc]!

A: I didn’t ask.

Q: Konnichiwa! [as form of greeting by non-Japanese people in the US]

A: Walking away from you.

Q: Do you think it’s racist when [insert description here]?

A: Do you think it’s racist?

Q: Do you feel you’ve been discriminated against because of your race and/or ethnicity?

A: Yes.

Q: Does this [insert thing] seem authentically Japanese to you?

A: Does this [insert thing created by the group of people you’re descended from] seem authentically [insert your culture] to you?

Q: Would you consider [insert description of person] to be Japanese?

A: I have never understood this question. Like, ever.

Q: Do you identify as American?

A: At some point, I’ll have a post about this.

Many of the above questions/comments have been addressed to me multiple times. I chose to share my experiences for two audiences: people who have experienced racial microaggressions and people who have perpetuated a racial microaggression or are thinking of asking a question that may be a racial microaggression.

For people who have been on the receiving end of racial microaggressions, I’m sorry that happened to you and I hope you were able to move forward, even if you didn’t forget.

For people who have perpetuated racial microaggressions, what made you think you needed to know the answer to that question? Is it more important for you to “know” something than for you to respect the safety of the person who may be made uncomfortable by answering your question? If there is absolutely no way to avoid asking your question (and there are very few scenarios where this is unconditionally true, so really THINK about it), be candid with the person on the receiving end. Let them know why you are asking the question and that you realize it may cause offense. And if you do cause offense, apologize, and don’t force them to answer. No one owes you an answer to these types of questions.